Monday, June 26, 2006
Hornet Hell...
I have never been stung by a hornet but judging by the amount of screaming, tearing off of clothes and agonised facial expressions that go on when such a thing happens - I reckon it's PRETTY painful.
My brave little six year old got stung good and proper yesterday while he was standing outside with his friends... He was about to go for a bike ride around our leafy estate with his friend Arthur-- whose mom was accompanying them.
I was working - as usual - tapping away on my computer - when I heard a blood curdling screech.
I jumped up - ran to the window to see Arthurs mum running down the road tearing off her shirt ...
I raced down the stairs as the screeching continued - this time it was coming from Sam - He was in agony..
Little did the little group know was they had been standing near a very very large hornet's nest and obviously the hornets weren't too happy abou it.
Sam had been stung BADLY on his bottom - God only knows how the evil little black and yellow bug got in there.. and Arthur's mum had taken two hits under her arm.
The insect left horrible red sores where it had stung them..
These stings are nothing like bee stings - SAm has endured one of those as well when we visted Taman Nagara jungle in Malaysia last year which Tea Tree oil quickly relieved.
This was a NUMBER 10 sting.
He had also taken a hit on his hand... though not as bad.
I rushed around trying to find some tea tree oil in the flat - but it didnt really help - and all arthurs mum wanted to do was go home - the poor woman was in tears. A passing jogger corralled the panicked group away from the nest - now swarming with the horrible things - each one more than happy to deliver another dose of venom at any provocation.
I got poor little sam upstairs, administered ice on his sore bottom (now rapidly growing into a big red sore the size of a side plate on his little bottom)
gave him some chocholate and fed him pizza -- I love this little chap so!
My brave little six year old got stung good and proper yesterday while he was standing outside with his friends... He was about to go for a bike ride around our leafy estate with his friend Arthur-- whose mom was accompanying them.
I was working - as usual - tapping away on my computer - when I heard a blood curdling screech.
I jumped up - ran to the window to see Arthurs mum running down the road tearing off her shirt ...
I raced down the stairs as the screeching continued - this time it was coming from Sam - He was in agony..
Little did the little group know was they had been standing near a very very large hornet's nest and obviously the hornets weren't too happy abou it.
Sam had been stung BADLY on his bottom - God only knows how the evil little black and yellow bug got in there.. and Arthur's mum had taken two hits under her arm.
The insect left horrible red sores where it had stung them..
These stings are nothing like bee stings - SAm has endured one of those as well when we visted Taman Nagara jungle in Malaysia last year which Tea Tree oil quickly relieved.
This was a NUMBER 10 sting.
He had also taken a hit on his hand... though not as bad.
I rushed around trying to find some tea tree oil in the flat - but it didnt really help - and all arthurs mum wanted to do was go home - the poor woman was in tears. A passing jogger corralled the panicked group away from the nest - now swarming with the horrible things - each one more than happy to deliver another dose of venom at any provocation.
I got poor little sam upstairs, administered ice on his sore bottom (now rapidly growing into a big red sore the size of a side plate on his little bottom)
gave him some chocholate and fed him pizza -- I love this little chap so!
Friday, June 23, 2006
Transcendig crap - Singapore Idol
Let me start by saying I like crap television - but I have just witnessed a programme that transcends 'crap' … infact, this could be a weapon of mass destruction! Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for 'SINGAPORE IDOL'.
NEVER, EVER have I seen such a shoddy piece of rubbish ….
The contestants? AWFUL
The judges? TERRIBLE
The sets? DRAB
The hosts? PITIFUL
Seriously, if you think the British/American/Indian/Iraqi/Australian/NZ etc etc versions are bad - you have seen nothing yet.
Talentless hopeful, after talentless hopeful slowly shuffle their feet into the Concentration Campesqe studio to warble lyrics that are either …
1. Unintelligible
2. Mumbled
3. Wrong
4. Singlish [a 'special' version of English where meaning and understanding often gets 'lost in translation'. My fave? The song 'Can't Fight The Moonlight' was sung as 'Camp Fire The Moonlight]
What's worse is that most of them are either dressed in 1994 'New Kids On The Block' clothing OR the latest clobber from 'Accountants World' magazine.
However, even worse than that are the FOUR judges.
I think there's four because Asians are notoriously thin and so it takes 2 to make up the equivalent size of American Idol's resident chubby, Randy Jackson … however, what these 4 lack in size, they more than make up for in absolutely annoyance.
I have no idea what the judges are 'famous' for - because lets be honest, Singapore has hardly set the World alight with it's musical talent - however we have 2 men and 2 women [of which one of the men and women are EX husband and wife - and judging by how camp the bloke is, I am not in the least surprised] who sit there and say one of the following comments after each hopeful has murdered a particularly well-known song …
1. That was really entertaining
2. That was really awful
3. You have real talent
That's it … that's all they say … each and every time - except they always say the wrong comment to the wrong person.
Seriously, in the whole competition there's only 3 people with a modicum of talent and the best [a 16 year old girl] was almost kicked out the first round because - get this - the judges felt she made the song 'her own'. In other words, because she sang a song in a way that really represented her, she was seen as poor as they wanted it to be sung 'just like the original'. It's Singapore Idol, not Singapore Imitation. JEEZ!!!!
Finally there's the hosts - heaven help us!
Here are a couple of 'lads' who are trying so hard to be 'hip 'n' happening' but come across like a damp squid. What's worse is they have all the wit of a deaf mute - so you are subjected to 90 mins of the sort of painful television last witnessed in the 80's when we had a 'Telethon' every week for some sort of charity that needed attention.
I like Singapore - I like Asia - but seriously, this show is more dangerous than a snuff flick!!! Saying that, for a country that celebrates its own blandness, getting me to rant and rave like a madmen is a major step forward - as the words 'passion' and 'Singapore' are rarely uttered together.
NEVER, EVER have I seen such a shoddy piece of rubbish ….
The contestants? AWFUL
The judges? TERRIBLE
The sets? DRAB
The hosts? PITIFUL
Seriously, if you think the British/American/Indian/Iraqi/Australian/NZ etc etc versions are bad - you have seen nothing yet.
Talentless hopeful, after talentless hopeful slowly shuffle their feet into the Concentration Campesqe studio to warble lyrics that are either …
1. Unintelligible
2. Mumbled
3. Wrong
4. Singlish [a 'special' version of English where meaning and understanding often gets 'lost in translation'. My fave? The song 'Can't Fight The Moonlight' was sung as 'Camp Fire The Moonlight]
What's worse is that most of them are either dressed in 1994 'New Kids On The Block' clothing OR the latest clobber from 'Accountants World' magazine.
However, even worse than that are the FOUR judges.
I think there's four because Asians are notoriously thin and so it takes 2 to make up the equivalent size of American Idol's resident chubby, Randy Jackson … however, what these 4 lack in size, they more than make up for in absolutely annoyance.
I have no idea what the judges are 'famous' for - because lets be honest, Singapore has hardly set the World alight with it's musical talent - however we have 2 men and 2 women [of which one of the men and women are EX husband and wife - and judging by how camp the bloke is, I am not in the least surprised] who sit there and say one of the following comments after each hopeful has murdered a particularly well-known song …
1. That was really entertaining
2. That was really awful
3. You have real talent
That's it … that's all they say … each and every time - except they always say the wrong comment to the wrong person.
Seriously, in the whole competition there's only 3 people with a modicum of talent and the best [a 16 year old girl] was almost kicked out the first round because - get this - the judges felt she made the song 'her own'. In other words, because she sang a song in a way that really represented her, she was seen as poor as they wanted it to be sung 'just like the original'. It's Singapore Idol, not Singapore Imitation. JEEZ!!!!
Finally there's the hosts - heaven help us!
Here are a couple of 'lads' who are trying so hard to be 'hip 'n' happening' but come across like a damp squid. What's worse is they have all the wit of a deaf mute - so you are subjected to 90 mins of the sort of painful television last witnessed in the 80's when we had a 'Telethon' every week for some sort of charity that needed attention.
I like Singapore - I like Asia - but seriously, this show is more dangerous than a snuff flick!!! Saying that, for a country that celebrates its own blandness, getting me to rant and rave like a madmen is a major step forward - as the words 'passion' and 'Singapore' are rarely uttered together.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Spitting black cobras ... and 10 foot barge pole is suddenly on hand
It's amazing how items we need suddenly become available when we really need them.
You remember watching road runner cartoons and the wiley coyote always seems to have the latest roadrunner killing technology at hand despite living in a desert.
(Thanks to a mail order membership from Acme)
Anyway.. This afternoon my helper came across a rare black spitting cobra doing its thing slithering about on the ground floor outside stairwell.
Naturally it caused her much consternation as - well the creature is extremely poisionous and can kill you quite quickly.. first by rendering you unconscious and then ... well i am not too sure - but the end result is your death.
I was upstairs working and making up with my boyfriend via msn - so I was multi-tasked out at the time - so didnt respond to her call right away.
When I did go downstairs, I found a very dead cobra with its head smashed in in the garden outside - a 10 foot pole rammed into the back of its head.
The funny thing is I have never seen the pole before and it amazed me that in a life and death situation things like that just seem to be available -- They are never available when its just a normal non-life threatening situaiton - like when you need a pair of scissors to open the washing powder box or a can opener for the tin of soup... Usually then u have to resort to improvising with a knife or something - and then you end up stabbing yourself in the hand and risk bleeding to death - but life's like that......
You remember watching road runner cartoons and the wiley coyote always seems to have the latest roadrunner killing technology at hand despite living in a desert.
(Thanks to a mail order membership from Acme)
Anyway.. This afternoon my helper came across a rare black spitting cobra doing its thing slithering about on the ground floor outside stairwell.
Naturally it caused her much consternation as - well the creature is extremely poisionous and can kill you quite quickly.. first by rendering you unconscious and then ... well i am not too sure - but the end result is your death.
I was upstairs working and making up with my boyfriend via msn - so I was multi-tasked out at the time - so didnt respond to her call right away.
When I did go downstairs, I found a very dead cobra with its head smashed in in the garden outside - a 10 foot pole rammed into the back of its head.
The funny thing is I have never seen the pole before and it amazed me that in a life and death situation things like that just seem to be available -- They are never available when its just a normal non-life threatening situaiton - like when you need a pair of scissors to open the washing powder box or a can opener for the tin of soup... Usually then u have to resort to improvising with a knife or something - and then you end up stabbing yourself in the hand and risk bleeding to death - but life's like that......
